Middleman

I love Instacart because when you use Instacart coupons to take advantage of a free lunch there's always some guy training for a triathlon that thinks running 4 and a half miles with $50 worth of Panda Express in one hand is worth $4

This one time I flew to Texas to have sex with a married woman in exchange for a longboard and then she got tested and found out she was pregnant already and she never got to ride the longboard.

If you send a couple buckets into your fleshlight and dont clean it for a couple days the maggots that start to grow in there actually make it feel 100x better.

I just watched a documentary about glitter and know I know glitter was invented by a co-inventor of the nuclear bomb and also how glitter is basically in everything that girls like, so they're kinda all radioactive and that's why gay people are gay and not because they have an above average amount of parasites.

hapu trying to pvp me for most explicit pics on the TL was not on my bingo card

Best trader alive

这家啤酒厂只雇12岁的孩子，对吧？！

Fun fact - I lived in Venice (the California one) for +/- 3 years and then moved to SF (NB/TG Hill) But when I made the move at least 4 people told me I couldn't move in cause I smelled like shit.